Where are teenagers finding out about sex?

9:30am Friday 20th April 2007

WHEN it comes to explaining the birds and the bees to teenagers, many parents are faced with awkward silences, red faces and embarrassed sniggers.

Following a recent Ofsted report, which suggested many parents are altogether avoiding the talk', people have started to ask whether the responsibility to educate falls on mum and dad or schools.

The report revealed a lot of young people are being forced to turn to magazines and the media to find out the facts of life.

Not a good idea, according to a handful of students from Worcester's Blessed Edward Oldcorne Catholic College.

Robert Collier, aged 16, Theresa Hewitt, 16, Merlin Duff, 16, and Eleanor Saunders, 15, all agreed that responsibility for sex education should be shared.

Although pleased with the level of education they received at their school, they all said that the subject should be tackled at a much younger age.

Theresa said: "I don't think parents really sit down and have the talk' anymore. You just pick things up from the television and from friends."

Merlin believed getting advice from the sometimes sexist lads' magazines was probably a bad idea.

"I think you should start learning about sex from a much younger age, before you reach secondary school," he said. "You're never going to learn about real-life experiences from magazines and television."

Eleanor agreed and said it was the same with the girls' magazines.

"The views in magazines are always contradictory. You can't prepare yourself that way. You need to be able to ask questions."

The teenagers said they also appreciated learning about sex through different subjects such as religious education, science and even PE.

"We don't just get told, we get taught," said Merlin. "We learn about sexually transmitted diseases and how they are passed on, things like that. I think you have to learn about the good and bad sides before you can make up your mind about having sex."

One point Robert raised is that, because Blessed Edward is a Catholic school, they have not learnt much about contraception.

"In general, I think schools could do more," he said. "But at Blessed's, considering it's position as a Catholic school, sex education is taught really well."

The school was recently visited by Challenge Team UK - a group of young volunteers who educate teenagers about sexuality - who ran a workshop promoting chastity.

The message they delivered - that sex should be saved for marriage - came from a common sense and health perspective, rather than a religious one.

Blessed Edward's headteacher Sean Devlin said the school agreed with that message and was so impressed it has already invited the group back next year.

"We deliver the message within the Christian environment," he said.

The school in Timberdine Avenue, Worcester, starts sex education in year 7 and lessons continue up to year 11. When they are 11, pupils are taught the difference between love and lust and what constitutes inappropriate behaviour.

The school also has an on-site councillor for students to speak to about any sex-related issues.

HOW TO EXPLAIN SEX TO YOUR KIDSDr Pat Spungin, founder of raisingkids.co.uk, said instead of having one big talk, it should be a gradual process.

She said: "The best way is to open conversations in dribs and drabs. It's better that you're relaxed and comfortable."

Dr Spungin offers these tips on talking about sex with youngsters: Start early - You can't embarrass a four-year-old. They haven't learnt to be embarrassed so you can talk about the physical sides of intimacy.

Matter of fact - Deal with sex as you would any bodily function in a matter-of-fact way. All living creatures reproduce, so telling them the facts of life is just one part of the story.

Be honest - Answer children's questions as and when they raise them.

Be open - Don't wait for the talk' to discuss sex with your child. Openly discuss it when the occasion arises so that it does not become a serious or embarrassing subject.

Be trusting - Maintaining an open, trusting relationship about sex is vital if parents do not want their children sneaking around behind their backs.

WHAT TEENAGERS REALLY THINK ABOUT SEX EDUCATIONRobert Collier, aged 16 "I think sex education should be taught during the last year of primary school."Theresa Hewitt, aged 16 "In primary school it was awful. If you tried to ask a question about sex you got told off."Merlin Duff, aged 16 "You're never going to learn about real life experiences from magazines and TV."Eleanor Saunders, aged 15 "We need to learn more about sex for pleasure - which is the main reason most people have sex."

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