A MOTHER who once suffered terrible nightmares about the funeral of one of her babies has given hope to others with postnatal depression. Lisa Tanner suffered horrifying dreams, hallucinations and days on end without sleep and has made two attempts on her own life.

The mother-of-four founded Mothersvoice to provide a lifeline to other women battling to cope with this harrowing, often deeply misunderstood illness.

The former nurse was prescribed anti-depressants to manage her symptoms following the birth of her daughters Eloise, now aged five, and India, aged three.

Mrs Tanner, aged 35, of Kington, between Flyford Flavell and Inkberrow, said: “At its worst it is the most isolating, terrifying experience and you feel cheated out of what should be the happiest time in your life. You ask for help and people say, ‘What do you expect?’ and, ‘Snap out of it’. They say, ‘It’s just your hormones’ but that makes you feel worse. I contacted one support group and said, ‘I think I’m going to do something stupid’. They didn’t even reply and I felt like I was worth nothing.”

Mrs Tanner has made two sucide attempts. Mercifully, she survived but it goes to show just how overpowering the emotions connected with this illness can be.

Women can react to giving birth with mild “baby blues” (temporary depression which is not classed as postnatal depression), postnatal depression (chronic) or puerperal psychosis.

Those with puerperal psychosis can believe that their baby is evil or even the devil and in rare cases such women can be a danger to themselves or their child.

Mrs Tanner, diagnosed with post-natal depression rather than puerperal psychosis, was still so disturbed she believed that her children’s toys were talking to her and her house was haunted by ghosts who were switching the television and kettle off and on and throwing stock cubes at her.

She was also terrified her daughters would die, clasping her hand to the chest of Eloise to check she was still breathing.

She was not even allowed to breastfeed her baby by doctors because of the drugs she was taking to regulate her moods.

She said: “I even planned the funeral of one my daughters. I dreamed my husband Tony was carrying a white coffin. Those days were a blur of death, of drifting in and out of sleep.”

But she fought back and helped form Mothersvoice with co-founders Nicola Mucelroy, Sherralea Weedall and Mandy Charteris in November last year.

All of them had belonged to another support organisation but have since broken away to form a new, independent, not-for-proft group.

Mothersvoice supports women and families affected by perinatal mental illness which includes antenatal depression/anxiety, postnatal depression/anxiety, birth trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, puerperal psychosis and maternal bi-polar disease.

Mrs Tanner trained as a counsellor at Bath University so she could help others and the group now has 204 members in the UK and some overseas, with numbers growing all the time.

One of the woman to benefit is Louise Griffiths, 37, from Gresham Road, Dines Green, Worcester.

She suffered severe depression 30 weeks into the pregnancy of her youngest child, Ben.

She cannot remember him as a newborn baby – for the first seven months of his life she found it hard to see anything beyond her illness, which smothered many of her other memories.

She suffered chest pains, breathlessness, extreme anxiety, high blood pressure, panic attacks and aches and pains.

Mrs Griffiths said she received the best possible care from her doctors at Henwick Halt Medical Centre, Ingles Drive, St John’s, Worcester, but her symptoms continued.

Part of her anxiety she now attributes to the death three years ago at the age of 70 of her mother Pam Thompson, who had always been immensely supportive.

Mrs Griffiths had been told she needed a caesarean birth and she was worried she would die on the operating table. She was due to have the operation at 9am at Worcestershire Royal Hospital in Worcester but because of emergency cases the operation was delayed until 5.30pm that evening, which sent her into a panic.

When Ben, now nearly two, was born, the anxiety did not fade – if anything, it got worse.

She said: “After he was born, my legs were like lead. I felt very, very strange. It was like looking from inside of your head out, like you’re in a tunnel. You feel vacant. You have no concentration. I felt I was going to die. I punched post-natal depression into a search engine and I came up with this support group. I said, ‘I’m desperate. I love my son’.

“I explained everything that was happening to me. You can just say completely how you feel. It’s so reassuring to know that there are hundreds of women suffering from it.

“That has got me through because you do feel so alone with it. I can now say to people, ‘I was where you were’. I can say there is light at the end of it and I could not have done this without these guys. Mothersvoice has changed my life. A few years ago this illness was considered an embarrassment – it’s not.”

Mothersvoice also helps fathers who can also be strongly affected by their partner’s illness and Mrs Griffiths herself admits PND has been a huge strain on her marriage.

There is a page on the website especially for fathers called “dad’s voice” so they too are involved.

POSTNATAL DESPRESSION THE FACTS

* One in five women suffer emotional illness because of pregnancy and birth. It is the second biggest cause of death in women after obesity.

* 40 women a year commit suicide because of postnatal illness, leaving their children without a mother.

* Most cases of postnatal depression begin within a month of a mother giving birth.

* Symptoms include low mood, irritability, tiredness, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, loss of sex drive, guilt, anxiety or inability to cope.

* Puerperal psychosis is a serious condition which affects about one in 500 women and starts within weeks of childbirth.

* Mothersvoice provides telephone counselling, message boards for those affected to discuss their feelings and can also arrange home visits.

For more information visit mothersvoice.org.uk or call Lisa Tanner direct on 07925972127. She can also be contacted by e-mail at info@mothersvoice. org.uk