I REALLY wish I liked ale.

There is nothing more embarrassing, I recently discovered, than going to a proper real ale pub and ordering a pint of lager.

This pub doesn’t sell my favourite lager because it’s a real ale pub, but I thought I’d try my luck, but eventually I had to choose something else.

But you are instantly judged for this shunning of ale – the people you are with recoil from you as though to say ‘I’m not with her’, and you are stared at so intensely by the ale-loving regulars that you wish you could shrink and jump inside the nearest glass of the darkest stout and hide.

It’s a real problem for me.

My boyfriend loves ale, the darker the better, and on many occasions has tried to sway me to the dark side.

It’s not through lack of trying that I’m still not there yet.

Every year for the past four years I’ve gone to the Worcester Beer Festival.

It’s a great event and it’s the only time that my friends all return home from their various universities and we can get together.

However, I always end up trying several ales, not enjoying them, trying the wine, then cider, then feeling sick and resorting to the cloudy lemonade and not being able to join in with the drunken fun that everyone else is involved in.

I love pubs too. They are fantastic places to socialise and for the most part are beautiful buildings with a lot of history.

But the people I usually go to the pub with are ale drinkers. Countless times I’ve sipped whichever ale they are drinking, and the first sip is usually quite nice, but after the second and third I’ve decided again that I just don’t like ale and therefore stick to the whisky and Coke.

I really want to become a member of Campaign for Real Ale (Camra), because local pubs and breweries should be supported, but I would feel like a fraud.

Last year I went to the Guinness Factory in Dublin with three Guinness-loving friends.

But I couldn’t drink it, and gave away my numerous free samples and free pint to my friends.

Despite the cool names, creative bottles, and the respect that immediately comes with asking for a pint of bitter, I don’t think I’ll ever manage to go to the dark side.