PLEASE can we scrap political party conferences?

I honestly don't know why they exist. We've seen it all before!

Cringeworthy logo right behind where the speakers will stand? Check.

(It's normally something magnificently generic, along the lines of 'Working together for a fairer society'.

Or 'Securing a better future' - that was the Tories' actual tagline this year.)

Backdrop of drapes that are the colour of the political party? Check.

A series of snooze-worthy speakers, lining up one after another to preach to the converted? Check.

A bucketload of empty promises delivered to a hall full of people who will whoop and holler no matter what is said? Check.

A couple of headline promises which will make the news bulletins in the evening. Check?

It's amazing that there is never any real explanation of how the ideas mooted will be paid for.

Conference season is an opportunity to spout any old nonsense and not bother to back it up with facts.

All these conferences lead up to the party leader's speech, the set-piece of the event.

This year we saw David Cameron issue a 'barnstorming' speech that has propelled the Tories back into contention to win next year's General Election.

According to the right-wing press at least.

Then Ed Miliband somehow forgot to mention the deficit during his 80-minute opus - but showed he was in touch with real people by peppering his speech with the names of people he has met while out and about.

To be honest, no one really thought much of that.

I have no idea what happened at Ukip or the Lib Dems' conferences, but you can probably hazard a guess yourself.

Where are the real people (apart from being name-dropped by Ed every five minutes)?

It's no wonder people in this country are falling (have fallen?) out of love with politics.

Conference season is a distillation of why - it's all glitz, glamour and gobbing off.

Then, just when you think things can't get any worse, photos emerge of Ed Balls, Keith Vaz and other Labour aficionados doing the 'Gangnam Style' dance.

Oh dear.