IT’S a subject that comes with more one liners than a Tim Vine joke book – going like the clappers, on the pull, ring my bell, chime time etc etc.

Change ringing of church bells is an ancient English art and a boon to headline writers everywhere – can’t wait to see what they put on this. Because it’s a story about your chance to learn bell ringing on one of the finest sets of church bells in the world, at the world’s first specialised bell ringing centre.

It’s all in Worcester too. In the cathedral, where ringing master Mark Regan is organising a “learning to ring bells” day for all and sundry on Wednesday, August 7. There will be two sessions, each lasting an hour between 10am and noon, and each will cost £15 per person.

While an hour might not sound too long, believe me, if you’ve not run bells before, it will be quite long enough. Probably for that reason, no one under 10 years of age can be accommodated. After all, we can’t have little Tommy/Sarah getting tired and being fired off through the cathedral rafters into the sky as the bell rope they’re holding lurches back upwards.

That’s the commercial out of the way and I can’t really emphasise too much what a grand opportunity this is. Because Worcester doesn’t lead the world in much, but when it comes to bell ringing, we are up there on top of the pile.

As Mark said: “The bells of Worcester Cathedral are considered to be one of the finest rings of bells in the world. They were cast during the golden years of English bell founding and are exceptional for their tone and sound.”

The cathedral’s tower contains a ring of 12 bells, three semitone bells and a bourdon bell, with a total weight of 16 tonnes, which makes them the world’s fifth heaviest. The 15 ringing bells were cast in 1928 by John Taylor & Co of Loughborough, from the metal of the previous ring.

These were cast in 1869 and the non-swinging bourdon bell was cast in 1868 and was re-tuned in 1928. This is used by the clock to strike the hours.

However, learners are not let loose on those. As Mark pointed out, church bells are the largest and loudest of all musical instruments. In unpracticed hands, a bit like bagpipes, they can sound disjointed and awful.

The volume only accentuates the discord.

The two taster sessions will take place in the cathedral’s purposebuilt training centre, which was the first on the planet when it opened in 2007. Even now there’s only one other, in Adelaide, Australia, which has close ties with the Worcester operation.

The centre, set high in the cathedral tower, has specialist bell ringing simulators which allow novice ringers to practise away without being heard outside.

The trainees wear headphones so their cacophony of mistakes is for their ears only. Which is just as well, because retail trade over a fairly wide area of the city would be hit otherwise.

English changing ringing, as the musical practice is called, dates from the 17th century. Although single bells were around a lot earlier than that, it was only later they began to be played in a sequence to make a musical pattern.

A group of bell ringers is called a ‘band’, but British church bells do not play recognisable tunes. The music they make is created by ringing the bells one at a time in ever-changing sequences.

Each bell is numbered and in a ring, the highest bell is number one and called the treble, with the lowest bell called the tenor.

The simplest pattern is to ring the bells in order, highest to lowest – smallest to biggest – and ringing the bells in numerical order is called rounds.

Ringers practise hard to ensure a regular pulse is maintained throughout the round. “Having good hand and eye co-ordination and a good sense of rhythm is more important than sheer strength,” said Mark.

To make the pattern more interesting, the next time the bells are rung, the order is varied. This is called change ringing and gave rise to another common phrase in the English language, ringing the changes.

Although Worcester Cathedral has a team of 35 bell ringers, all volunteers, and is the bee’s knees when it come to bell ringing, many village churches in Worcestershire have their own, much smaller groups of ringers.

“I am sure that anyone wanting to learn about bell ringing only needs to pop along to their local church,” Mark said.

“The ringers would be only too glad to help. After all, you can hear when they are there.”

But in the meantime, if you want to try your hand at the cathedral, call 01905 611427 and get ready for your own towering achievement.

Sorry. Bellissimo. Sorry, sorry.