IN the weird world of local democracy, the more you can pull the wool over people's eyes the better.

The Source has the ultimate piece of advice for any keen youngsters looking to become top politicians or town hall officials in the future: get yourself the gobbledygook handbook.

This guide may well confuse at first, but if you can master the terminology in there a glorious future awaits.

I thought I'd heard it all when Worcestershire County Council started banging on about "boosting the social services tool kit" last year, which eventually became a byword for charging parents who put their children into care.

With councils across the county looking to save money, all of them are now slowly becoming obsessed about encouraging people to access services online.

There's nothing wrong with that, after all the more people that get services this way the quicker and cheaper it is for us all.

But it's the utterly dreadful description now being used to describe this tactic that surely needs to be binned - 'channel shifting'.

This ridiculous phrase, which The Source believes originated (again) at County Hall last year, is now being used routinely in the corridors of power, including at Worcester City Council.

What is wrong with these people?

* FORMER home secretary Alan Johnson, who at one point was hotly tipped to become Labour leader, is in Worcester tonight for a party fundraising dinner.

The cash raised from his bash will go towards the war chest for Councillor Joy Squires, who is desperately hoping to overturn city MP Robin Walker's tiny 2,982 majority next year.

With this battle set to become one of the most hotly contested in the country, it could also become quite expensive for the Tories and Labour.

Better get those wallets out.

* MANY people at Worcestershire County Council are desperately hoping the £8 million Abbey Bridge project in Evesham does finish by the last day of March - largely because one more delay could be catastrophic.

The terrible delays, which started before Christmas when contractors revealed they needed another three months to finish the job, is causing traders no end of dismay.

It's also resulted in red faces at County Hall, mainly because Councillor John Smith, the cabinet member for highways, went onto BBC local radio last year to pledge that it would be finished by the festive period without doubt. Oh dear.

The Source couldn't help but notice that the contractors are now promising to pack up just 24 hours before April Fools' Day.

No guessing for who the fools are!

* HOW many MPs does it take to change a light bulb? Four - one to change it and the other three to deny it.