PROMISING to make things more exciting in staunchly Conservative Mid-Worcestershire, the Monster Raving Loony Party has put forward a candidate for next year's General Election, a hilarious fellow called Baron Fullstop.

One of his main policies is pushing for a 99p coin, to save on change.

They also want to reduce the voting age to five to "reflect the current behaviour of our MPs".

With politics becoming increasingly fragmented, it has got The Source wondering if these madmen ever got into a position of power in Worcestershire, how our county would look.

Imagine the loonies' strategy for dealing with congestion - it'd probably be something like scrapping park and ride, slashing bus routes all over the place and reducing car parking prices to cheapo rates to ensure the cars pour in.

Maybe they could go the whole hog and launch an over-arching 'barmy congestion manifesto' - draw up a hated housing blueprint for 23,200 properties before slapping in provision for an extra 6,000, allow utility firms to bring a halt to key county routes on a seasonal basis, stick traffic lights within yards of each other all over the place, create a famous 'cricked neck' roundabout, in fact to hell with it, let's bring the city of Worcester to its knees by doing a 'traffic census' just to annoy 'em even more.

And don't forget to go onto BBC local radio before said census launches, to tell the city's people how it will only create a small amount of traffic problems. Ladies and gentleman, you have the perfect nutty storm.

This is so bananas, so certifiably loony, so downright potty, The Source is confident this will never happen in Worcestershire!

Oh....

* PITY the poor children of Worcester, who got their hopes up that a celebrity was due to turn on the city's Christmas lights last week, only for the Mayor Councillor Alan Amos to do the honours instead.

Word on the street was that the organisers had planned for X-Factor reject Chloe-Jasmine to do the deed, only for Worcester's notorious traffic to get in her way, allowing our man to take centre stage.

* ON the subject of pity, it's been a dreadful few days of PR for police and crime commissioner Bill Longmore, who played right into his critics hands by trying to get his deputy to answer questions for him during a Q&A at County Hall last week.

At one point, things got so hostile that the entire Labour group threatened a mass walk-out unless he got to his feet.

In the aftermath of the farce, his deputy Barrie Sheldon has been using Twitter to enlighten us on how he feels about the whole thing, saying he was left "staggered" by how they were treated.

It's funny that, all of our readers were 'staggered' by your £75,000-a-year sidekick!