LIKE a lightning bolt of common sense, Worcester Tory Roger Knight popped to a city council cabinet meeting this week to insist the word 'surplus' (profit, to me and you) should be banned.

"I hate it, it's a pain in the neck, it's horrible," he insisted.

But it isn't just in reports to the leadership where hideous crimes against plain English are being committed.

One truly wretched document for the planning committee yesterday mentioned the words 'dwellings' 44 times (The Source has counted every single one).

Who talks like this?

As for Roger, Worcester surely has its own Mr Clever.

* TONY Blair's £1,000 handout to 100-odd Labour parliamentary candidates is raising some chuckles in UKIP circles, with MEP James Carver calling it the 'Blair rich project'.

* WITH the sloshed japery in full flow, Worcester's Green Party parliamentary candidate Louis Stephen is starting to let the hustings shackles really hang free as he vies for the attention of the Cap 'N' Gown's regulars.

"You'd have to be an idiot if you didn't realise cutting parking charges would increase traffic in Worcester - and cutting bus services, that just defies belief," he hissed this week.

With such savagery, have you ever considered a career on Talksport?

* NEVER one to miss the party, grizzled political veteran Peter McNally turned up at the pub this week to announce he's standing for the left-wing firebrands 'Trades Unionists and Socialists Against the Cuts' (known as TUSAC, not to be confused with a Polish supermarket).

He's so used to standing for election on a hopeless ticket, maybe that'd explain why our pal headed for the exit before the hustings had finished on Monday, offering his apologies for an early bath while others were still in full beery flow.

How on earth will Mr Sleepy survive the 5am stay-up for the result in May?

* UKIP's Richard Delingpole shrugged off the heckles in some style this week while filling in for James Goad.

Amid a bear-pit of pub doubters not only did he claim global warming isn't happening (full marks for offering the pub-goers a different view), but managed to fit in a classic line about "useless" wind turbines which "serve only to chop up birds and bats", conjuring up images of farmland massacres.

He should be charging for entertainment like this.

If Richard was a Mr Men character, surely he’d be Mr Up and At ‘Em!