CHANNEL 5 have been on the phone and want to do a documentary involving Worcester Councillor Allah Ditta - but it's nothing to do with his political life.

TV bosses want our man to take the starring role in a tabloid-style 'house of horrors' programme featuring Britain's botched DIY disasters, giving his 'Chateau Ditta' complex in Battenhall a going-over with expert builders.

Will he invite them in for a cuppa?

* TORY Councillor Paul Tuthill may be a fully signed-up fan of County Hall's leadership, but he isn't so convinced the latest buzzword being sprayed around the corridors is working.

"This term 'demand management' reminds me a bit like hospitals who don't want patients turning up," he said.

"It's like Yes Minister - 'we had a lovely hospital until all the patients started to arrive'."

* IF you've ever wondered where all the money is going at County Hall, it's literally in the rubbish bins, according to director John Hobbs.

Talking about the eye-watering costs of waste disposal, he said: "People tend to throw away waste depending on the size of the vessel they've got to put it in."

The answer to saving taxpayers' money has never looked more like an acronym of a killer disease.

STV - Shrink The Vessels.

* WORCESTER'S Tories are rejoicing after launching a new branch in Rainbow Hill, parking their tanks on Jeremy Corbyn's lawn by targeting one of the city's staunch Labour strongholds.

But before the back slapping goes too far, The Source wonders if a tortoise travelling all the way from Battenhall with a blue rosette on may have sorted this out sooner.

It was Robin Walker who first told local activists he wanted to see a Rainbow Hill branch - way back in 2006 as a mere parliamentary candidate in-waiting.

High fives all round!

* LABOUR'S Richard Udall is spearheading a new crusade to encourage people to be fitter by organising a non-contact rugby match in March with councillors, council officers and the media all invited - but it appears Alan Amos is banned.

"We are not confident that he would not swap sides halfway through a match," he purrs.

Meow.