Want to know what 2013 holds? Ask the asparagus (From Worcester News)

Want to know what 2013 holds? Ask the asparagus

8:00am Thursday 3rd January 2013 in News

A SHOCK split, more bad weather and a Royal romance is just some of what’s to come in 2013, according to the world’s only asparamancer.

Jemima Packington, who is the only person on the planet to predict the future using the powers of Vale asparagus, has also foreseen problems for German Chancellor Angela Merkel, unexpected defeats for international political leaders and a significant tsunami in the Far East.

The unusual method of making predictions sees Miss Packington tossing the famous Vale vegetable into the air and telling the future by analysing the way it lands.

The asparamancer discovered her talent, which she believes it just like reading tea leaves, by chance when some asparagus she was eating fell on the floor and she came up with a prediction that came true.

“Sometimes what comes to you can seem incredibly off the wall,” said Miss Packington. “Yet sometimes you are certain. It is a bit grim for 2013. I can’t remember how many were correct last year but it was around six out of the 10.”

Last year Miss Packington and her asparagus successfully predicted excellent weather for the Olympics and great success for Team GB; that a devolution referendum would be granted to Scotland and a Royal baby.

“When they first announced the Duchess of Cambridges pregnancy there was talk of it being twins,” said Miss Packington.

“This has not been confirmed yet, though.”

As for next year the doom and gloom seems set to continue. “We are living in troubled times,” added the asparamancer.

“We will have massive extremes in weather but on a plus side we will have a better crop of asparagus in 2013.”

JEMIMA’S 2013 PREDICTIONS

􀁥 The EU monetary system will still be problematic. Greece will leave and Spain and Portugal will consider leaving too.

􀁥 Germany will suffer unexpected problems.

Angela Merkel will be challenged.

􀁥 A high-profile couple will announce they are splitting up – much to the shock of everyone.

􀁥 There will be a significant tsunami in the Far East.

􀁥 Several international political leaders will get unexpected shocking defeats.

􀁥 British weather will be a major cause for concern throughout the year with huge extremes.

􀁥 GB's Olympic success will form the basis of a good year for sport.

􀁥 A Royal romance will lead to wedding bells.

􀁥 America will weather its current financial storm.

􀁥 The asparagus crop will fare better this year.