Transgender teen finds love with mum’s best friend

7:20am Tuesday 12th March 2013 in News Photograph of the Author By James Connell

BRAVE: Bobby Fransis, who was born a girl, wants to give courage to other transgender people. He said: “I just want people to stop the hating.” Picture: Gail Braznell Reflected Images. BRAVE: Bobby Fransis, who was born a girl, wants to give courage to other transgender people. He said: “I just want people to stop the hating.” Picture: Gail Braznell Reflected Images.

A BRAVE man who was born a girl wants to give courage to other transgender people after appearing on TV to talk about his struggle.

Bobby Fransis Barnes, of Diglis, Worcester, was interview-ed by Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby live on ITV’s This Morning to talk about his experiences and said he wants people going through the same thing to stand proud against “the haters”.

The 19-year-old, who works as a barber in Lowesmoor, is waiting to have female-to-male chest reconstruction and sex-reassignment surgery on the NHS as soon as possible.

Describing his difficult childhood, Mr Barnes said he used to cut off his pigtails and rip off his girl clothes because he knew he was a boy on the inside.

“I have never lived any other way,” he said. “I had to stand up for myself or I would get bullied. I would be fighting almost every other day and my mum was at school every other week. I tried to control my anger but I came to a point where I thought, ‘I’m not taking it any more, I will have to man up or I’m going to get bullied for the rest of my life’.

“Other kids knew not to mess with me. People said, ‘You have got bottle -– you have got courage’.

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“I just want people to stop the hating.”

Mr Barnes, who has 10 brothers and sisters, att-ended Cherry Orchard Primary School in Timber-dine Close, Worcester, and Blessed Edward Oldcorne Catholic College in the city’s Timberdine Avenue.

He said at high school he was allowed to take part in school games with the boys but some children called him “a lesbian, a transvestite and a freak”.

And he said he had received some negative comments since his TV appearance.

“After I appeared on This Morning someone said I should have been shot at birth,” he said.

“I just laugh at it. They make jokes but they make themselves sound like idiots. “But Donna [his partner] took it hard but I have got more good comments than bad, more lovers than haters.”

Mr Barnes is now going out with his mum’s best friend, mother-of-three Donna Price, aged 31. The couple have been together since November although Mr Fransis confessed he had a crush on her for a long time, kissing her in the Brewery Tap in Lowesmoor. She has known him since he was a baby and used to change his nappies as a child. He has even set up a Facebook page called Born this way to give people a better understanding of his journey.

A consultation at a clinic in Charing Cross in London in October could provide dates for the surgery he needs to make him male.

He said: “I’m looking forward to that. It’s a long way off but it’s going to be worth it. I just want my op done and dusted.”

He has already had hormone treatment for two years, which means he has a man’s voice.

And he said others going through a similar thing sould not conceal their feelings.

“Don’t be scared to tell anyone because there is support for people out there,” he said.

“It isn’t just you on your own. I want to inspire the young people. People think they’re alone but I have had lots of support from my family and friends.”

He said his mum, Tracey Wood, had been “a rock” to him, as had his friend Gail Braznell, of Droit-wich, who is writing a book about his life.

He said: “My mum risked everything for me. It would have been so much harder if not for my mum.”

Comments(38)

joners says...
7:49am Tue 12 Mar 13

I watched you on this morning and I think good for you, not everyone in this world are the same but we are all humans and should be treated equal....good luck with your op and as for the haters ignore them they just don't understand you .

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katiekins says...
7:50am Tue 12 Mar 13

Good for you.But i think the NHS have better things to spend money on!!!

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mr.meldrew says...
10:05am Tue 12 Mar 13

such as? self inflicted obesity,smoking diseases,alcohol etc all self inflicted.best of luck bobby admire your courage.

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katiekins says...
11:15am Tue 12 Mar 13

No such as cancer patients ,heart patients things like that.MORE IMPORTANT THINGS...

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Guy66 says...
11:26am Tue 12 Mar 13

katiekins wrote:
No such as cancer patients ,heart patients things like that.MORE IMPORTANT THINGS...
See Mr Meldrew for common causes of Cancer, Heart problems and 'things like that'

such as? self inflicted obesity,smoking diseases,alcohol etc all self inflicted.best of luck bobby admire your courage.

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knick-knack says...
11:30am Tue 12 Mar 13

katiekins wrote:
No such as cancer patients ,heart patients things like that.MORE IMPORTANT THINGS...
Without NHS help a life can be ruined. It could be 90 years of hell. The mental turmoil must be horrendous, or are you too old to remember those things?

IMHO those unfortunate to be trapped in the wrong body deserve all the help the rest of us can give them.

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Respectable says...
11:31am Tue 12 Mar 13

katiekins wrote:
No such as cancer patients ,heart patients things like that.MORE IMPORTANT THINGS...
Well said. There are life of death choices made by NHS Managers and Doctors every hour of every day.This is neither.

Each to their own I say. I'm not anti anyone being true themselves but why should we fund it ?

There was debate recently about NHS funded IVF in certain age groups with many people saying this should be self funded. What makes this different ?

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Maggie Would says...
11:34am Tue 12 Mar 13

Katiekins, who are you to judge what is more important from a healthcare/treatment point of view? The experts in the health service struggle with this concept, so I doubt that you know any better.
For example, is someone with heart disease in their 50's, someone who isn't necessarily obese or a smoker but who has developed a bit of middle-aged spread, more deserving than someone who is suffering from a mental illness? The self-harm and suicide rates amongst those who believe they have been born in the wrong body would be a difficult one to ignore.

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knick-knack says...
11:43am Tue 12 Mar 13

Maggie Would wrote:
Katiekins, who are you to judge what is more important from a healthcare/treatment point of view? The experts in the health service struggle with this concept, so I doubt that you know any better.
For example, is someone with heart disease in their 50's, someone who isn't necessarily obese or a smoker but who has developed a bit of middle-aged spread, more deserving than someone who is suffering from a mental illness? The self-harm and suicide rates amongst those who believe they have been born in the wrong body would be a difficult one to ignore.
Oh dear, I am now confused because I find I am in total agreement with Maggie!

This decision is not a passing "fancy", it's all about life itself. Living in the wrong body must be a living nightmare!

Just imagine having to live with the abuse and public scorn; it is frightening. We once treated gays and lepers with that sort of contempt and derision, but most of us have learnt how wrong that was and surely we are now enlightened enough to understand the issues involved with gender failure as well.

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pinkfluff says...
11:50am Tue 12 Mar 13

katiekins wrote:
No such as cancer patients ,heart patients things like that.MORE IMPORTANT THINGS...
It is IMPORTANT..........i
t's IMPORTANT to Bobby. I'm happy for my NHS contributions to pay for something so IMPORTANT.

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Maggie Would says...
11:51am Tue 12 Mar 13

knick-knack wrote:
Maggie Would wrote:
Katiekins, who are you to judge what is more important from a healthcare/treatment point of view? The experts in the health service struggle with this concept, so I doubt that you know any better.
For example, is someone with heart disease in their 50's, someone who isn't necessarily obese or a smoker but who has developed a bit of middle-aged spread, more deserving than someone who is suffering from a mental illness? The self-harm and suicide rates amongst those who believe they have been born in the wrong body would be a difficult one to ignore.
Oh dear, I am now confused because I find I am in total agreement with Maggie!

This decision is not a passing "fancy", it's all about life itself. Living in the wrong body must be a living nightmare!

Just imagine having to live with the abuse and public scorn; it is frightening. We once treated gays and lepers with that sort of contempt and derision, but most of us have learnt how wrong that was and surely we are now enlightened enough to understand the issues involved with gender failure as well.
Why are you confused? People who agree with me generally feel quite happy for it to be the case.

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TDH123 says...
11:58am Tue 12 Mar 13

knick-knack wrote:
katiekins wrote:
No such as cancer patients ,heart patients things like that.MORE IMPORTANT THINGS...
Without NHS help a life can be ruined. It could be 90 years of hell. The mental turmoil must be horrendous, or are you too old to remember those things?

IMHO those unfortunate to be trapped in the wrong body deserve all the help the rest of us can give them.
I'm in the wrong body too, I should be in one far more toned than it is - I do not expect the state to pay for it!
There is far too little in the limited pot of NHS money to be funding operations such as these and similar, including the apparently trendy gastric band.

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luke4387 says...
11:59am Tue 12 Mar 13

Each to their own I guess... although I find it quite disturbing that 'his' partner is changed 'his' nappy when a child! Very strange.

But as I said, each to their own.

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Respectable says...
12:19pm Tue 12 Mar 13

Does a "Trendy Gastric Band" avoid all of the diabetic, obesity, vascular and heart conditions associated with being over weight ?

Could argue that's a "Good Spend"

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Maggie Would says...
12:24pm Tue 12 Mar 13

'Trendy' gastric band? I take it that you mean it's an operation that's done more frequently nowadays? I can only surmise that the reason for this is because it is considered an effective procedure that saves money in the long run, as weightloss improves the health of those receiving a band.

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Respectable says...
12:27pm Tue 12 Mar 13

That's the point I was making..

hence "Good Spend"

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Maggie Would says...
12:40pm Tue 12 Mar 13

Respectable wrote:
That's the point I was making..

hence "Good Spend"
My comment wasn't aimed at you, Respectable. I think we are in agreement on this subject. It was aimed at TDH123.

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Respectable says...
12:44pm Tue 12 Mar 13

Ahh Cool ;-)

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Joe the Tug says...
1:07pm Tue 12 Mar 13

Living in the "wrong body" can be a life or death situation for those who have to. Yes there is a limit to NHS funds but that should be left to NHS professionals to decide on how and where it is spent. Many transgenders have been forced to go overseas to have the op which doesn't always go right. Resulting in the damage having to be put right back in the UK, which can cost more than the original op. Stick with it Bobby, it is a long road before you complete the change.

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batchelorboy says...
1:24pm Tue 12 Mar 13

Today's society is clearly full of hate and single-mindedness - not just in the UK. I have to wonder why this had to go public.

Maybe the change is the best thing for this person, but I don't think it should be on the NHS. A lot of things shouldn't be, so I'm not singling anyone out here.

It frustrates me how people who are in such a sensitive situation, and hate that they are, make it public and expect nothing but support.

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mr_wilson15 says...
1:35pm Tue 12 Mar 13

I can't believe that the NHS are funding such nonsense, when all we hear about is funding shortfalls, A&E patients in corridors and hospitals closing. There are FAR better things to spend national healthcare money on in this time of cuts and austerity for everyone.

Following this 'news' story, I am awaiting to hear of the women who are 'trapped' in bodies with breasts that are too small, hair that is the wrong colour, noses the wrong size etc.

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TDH123 says...
1:42pm Tue 12 Mar 13

Respectable wrote:
Does a "Trendy Gastric Band" avoid all of the diabetic, obesity, vascular and heart conditions associated with being over weight ?

Could argue that's a "Good Spend"
If you are happy to pay £10,000 a time for gastric band ops then great, but I'm not! Yes it sonetimes saves the NHS monies in terms of diabetic treatment and similar. However, if you are responsible for making yourself morbidly obese surely you should be responsible for the cost of any operations, or treatments for consequential illnesses or conditions?
Where is the incentive to maintain good health?

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Respectable says...
2:27pm Tue 12 Mar 13

TDH123 wrote:
Respectable wrote:
Does a "Trendy Gastric Band" avoid all of the diabetic, obesity, vascular and heart conditions associated with being over weight ?

Could argue that's a "Good Spend"
If you are happy to pay £10,000 a time for gastric band ops then great, but I'm not! Yes it sonetimes saves the NHS monies in terms of diabetic treatment and similar. However, if you are responsible for making yourself morbidly obese surely you should be responsible for the cost of any operations, or treatments for consequential illnesses or conditions?
Where is the incentive to maintain good health?
Wouldn't disagree. We are however straying off subject here. This isn't about obesity etc.

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tootysgal says...
5:25pm Tue 12 Mar 13

well good luck to him and all that but what annoys me is that he's getting it all on the nhs which must mean getting rid of his facial hair aswell,i'm a 30 year old female with polycstic ovaries and bad facial hair yet i can't have removal treatment on the nhs,thats not right.

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murfyboy says...
7:39pm Tue 12 Mar 13

bobby should pay for his own gender change , not the tax payer . its his choice to do this to himself and hes not going to die if he doesnt have the operation. Worcester news you really havent done bobby any favours have you "STOP THE HATRED" front page im sure all of Reditch will sympathise now they are losing their accident and emergency department due to lack of funds”

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thecigarman says...
7:54am Wed 13 Mar 13

He should pay for it himself.

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Fishy says...
10:37am Wed 13 Mar 13

This is a man trapped in a woman's body. It's hardly self inflicted.

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ushmush83 says...
12:28pm Wed 13 Mar 13

Secret agent 46 wrote:
Pathetic waste of money... Your sick
What a lovely person you must be.

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somewhereinworcester says...
1:06pm Wed 13 Mar 13

Gender dysphoria is very much a life threatening condition. Rates of suicide prior to treatment for gender dysphoric people is as high as 40% this figure reduces post treatment and surgery to just over the national average. Can you imagine living a life in which every day is a struggle to stop yourself from either self harming or suicide?

Furthermore many of the comments suggesting that the NHS should not fund treatment do not take into account that there is a cost of doing nothing – the NHS pays around £2000 per patient per year prior to gender reassignment to provide the mental health support to a patient yet this support is typically no longer required after successful surgery hence over a typical adult lifetime the cost to the NHS of doing nothing is £116,000 (58 years @ £2000 pa), the cost of clinical support for the approximate 2-3 years of active change to another gender including surgery, medication, support and blood tests comes to approximately £14,000-£20,000 (based on male to female) so it actually saves the NHS £96,000 to offer surgery – this is very much the reason why surgery is offered to suitable patients.

Patients with gender dysphoria have neither contributed nor have any control of this condition, it is scientifically proven to be a congenital birth condition caused at around 4-8 weeks after conception and is caused by an absence of the correct hormones during brain development causing an offset in gender identity between brain and body/genitals.

Please educate yourselves before making uninformed comments!

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luke4387 says...
1:19pm Wed 13 Mar 13

murfyboy wrote:
bobby should pay for his own gender change , not the tax payer . its his choice to do this to himself and hes not going to die if he doesnt have the operation. Worcester news you really havent done bobby any favours have you "STOP THE HATRED" front page im sure all of Reditch will sympathise now they are losing their accident and emergency department due to lack of funds”
Could not agree more!!

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goodygoody says...
8:32pm Wed 13 Mar 13

I'm more worried about how i'm going to pay my gas and electricity bills, oh and water bill, and council tax bill. Oh yes and buy food. Bobby can do what he likes. I couldn't care less.

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Secret agent 46 says...
9:33pm Wed 13 Mar 13

I'm all for people making there own decisions in life and if that's what he/she wants to do but why should we the tax payer foot the bill... I'd like to take my wife and children on an exotic holiday but to do that I have to work dam hard not rely on the tax payer to foot the bill

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FourWFR says...
10:44am Thu 14 Mar 13

What a waste of NHS money, how many more of these trendy operations do we have to pay for?

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Robot 3021 says...
12:03pm Thu 14 Mar 13

Trendy? Good grief. Has a word ever been used so wildly far out of context? That's rocketing through the Oort cloud and still going.

It's also already been established, in quite some detail and in a very comprehensive and well written post, that this will almost certainly save the NHS money.

The good people of Worcester, as forward-looking, empathetic, modern, intelligent and accepting as ever.

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wildcard996 says...
12:21pm Thu 14 Mar 13

Maybe the NHS should also stop doing other "trendy" operations that prolong the life of people with worn out bodies. Is this not meddling with nature?

I agree that NHS funding is in short supply, but I would rather it were spent on someone who is working and adding value to this country, than someone who lives off the country and provides nothing.

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iamthebinman says...
4:34pm Thu 14 Mar 13

Pay something towards it? 25%? All happy with that? Good, that's that sorted!

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grumpy woman says...
10:50pm Thu 14 Mar 13

Good luck to him but I think cancer treatment is more worthy of the money.

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thecigarman says...
10:36am Sun 17 Mar 13

If a man had changed his or hers nappy and was now in a relationship with him or her, the man would be called a pervert and serious questions would be being asked. So its ok for this women Donna Mcdonald to do it?. is this normal?. seems to me not to be.

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