BETTER late than never, Worcester’s Lib Dems have finally sealed the deal by announcing their General Election hopeful – only serving to confirm once and for all just how bad things have truly got.

With nobody living even vaguely local daft enough to stand, after weeks of procrastination they’ve got the torches out and hunted down a candidate in Somerset, a ridiculous 112 miles away.

Federica Smith, 30, not only lives in deepest darkest Taunton but is an elected councillor there, having won a by-election in 2013 and works there too, in health insurance – which will probably come in handy when she surveys May’s horrific Clegg-inspired bloodbath.

Let''s hope faraway Federica doesn’t think the northern link is a bridge in Newcastle, eh.

* TALKING about losing deposits, Worcester independent candidate Mark Shuker has been conspicuous by his absence at the city’s Cap ‘N’ Gown hustings so far.

Mark, an obsessive Twitter user, says he’s “the only candidate campaigning for a northern link road”, which is less accurate than Bill Clinton’s Monica Lewinsky claims.

But it’s his other suggestions which are freaking people out, including one tweet calling for an “Ann Summers flagship store” to come to Worcester.

Oo-er missus!

* YESTERDAY morning Malvern Conservative Paul Tuthill confirmed to us he’d been de-selected by the town’s Tories, an inevitable conclusion to lots of grumbles behind the scenes.

Harry Tanner, president of the local branch, then told us: “I wouldn’t call it a de-selection...there’s no point discussing it further.”

So what would you call it then, give us a clue.

* Latest political joke doing the rounds: What’s the similarities with a modern Government minister and a pair of scissors? Both make lots of cuts, and you win when you hit them with a rock.

* DAVID Cameron did Worcestershire folk a good service recently when he urged business leaders to start handing workers pay rises to reflect the improving economy.

But one man who doesn’t have to let that worry him is Duncan Sharkey, Worcester City Council’s managing director – his new job at Milton Keynes Council comes with a peak pay band of £140,000.

It puts his relative pauper’s £105,824 rate at Worcester into context, which is actually as low as it gets for big jobs in local government, especially for a bloke who works so hard.

Thank goodness the returning officer top-up's available.

With the SWDP, endless political squabbles, serious outsourcing on the agenda and its cousins in Malvern and Wychavon hysterically waving from down the road as newly-formed flirtatious lovers, will anyone want this looming city council vacancy?