CAUGHT between balancing the views of modern Tories with swivel-eyed loons, Robin Walker is tiptoeing over a proper EU tightrope.

Our man says he needs time before making up his mind about which way to go, but his description of this predicament would make the members of many a Conservative Association blush.

"It's not a black and white, easy decision - it's going to be about shades of grey," he tells us.

Crikey.

* WORCESTER City FC fans have been in bits this week after the city council's managing director Sheena Ramsey was outed as a PSSS - Perdiswell stadium scheme sceptic.

But hope may yet spring eternal when they examine the man lined up to become the authority's new leader later this month, in Marc Bayliss.

Councillor Bayliss happens to be a Kidderminster Harriers fan - and we all know no football supporter actually likes their club sharing their own stadium with the in-laws.

Bring 'em home, old son.

* LABOUR Councillor Chris Bloore has been trailblazing across the USA as an activist for the Presidential Elections - a journey which could see him secure celebrity status back at County Hall.

As well as catching up with Bill Clinton, his reams of blow-by-blow pictures include a 'selfie' with the next President-in-waiting, Hillary herself.

Next step, the White House!

* A GOVERNMENT report has labelled Wychavon the third worst part of the UK for social mobility - yet two days later a survey from the Office for National Statistics reckoned its people are the third 'least anxious' in the entire country.

Either one of these pieces of work is utter gibberish or there's some confused folk about.

* AFTER delaying things as long as possible and shifting the goalposts so far the pitches are in Sweden, ministers are finally due to confirm council's 2016/17 grant funding next week - so late it may even arrive on Pancake Day.

If this is timed so newspaper headlines can accuse them of not giving a toss, how brilliant.