ON AVERAGE two women, who have experienced domestic abuse, are murdered in the UK every week and 30 men each year have the same fate, according to Living Without Abuse (LWA) charity.

Although domestic abuse is often a hidden crime and not reported to the police, an estimated 1.9 million adults (aged 16 to 59) were subject to it last year according the Crime Survey for England and Wales March 2017. Of these 63 per cent were women.

The same survey reveals that 32 per cent of all violent crimes recorded by police were domestic abuse-related incidents.

It is a major issue, which causes misery and serious harm to thousands of individuals in the UK every day and Worcestershire is no exception.

One county resident, whose name has been changed to protect her identity, spoke out about her experiences and has managed to overcome her domestic abuse ordeal.

Kelly, aged 30, is an engaging and articulate woman with a cheerful nature and warm smile. She grew up in this area in a safe and happy home.

But as the years passed she became attracted to domineering people and fell into abusive and controlling relationships.

Kelly met Neil when she was 23 and already a mother to a five-year-old. She was besotted but in hindsight believes he showed abusive traits right from the start.

She said: “Because there was no actual physical violence at the start of our relationship, I didn’t even think that he was abusive. He was very controlling but I worked around this and thought it was just him and, as long as I didn’t upset him, we would be OK.”

But Kelly’s life took a dramatic turn when she became pregnant four years later. That’s when the physical violence began.

On two separate occasions she called the police but she always went back to him after his pleas and apologies.

However one evening when her daughter was two Neil flew into a rage, punched a hole in the door and tried to strangle Kelly. With her children asleep, she managed to escape, alert a neighbour and, in a state of physical and emotional trauma, was taken to hospital.

Kelly was able to access help from a number of agencies and support groups. Her recovery included attending the Freedom programme, which examines how attitudes and beliefs of abusers and victims contribute to domestic abuse.

It also looks in detail at how children are affected by being exposed to this kind of abuse and very importantly how their lives are improved when the abuse is removed.

Kelly is now supported by the Domestic Abuse Working Network (DAWN) Project which specialises in offering women face to face support, building up trusting relationships and helping to empower them to make their own decisions and move forward in their lives.

By developing coping strategies and enjoying a healthy relationship with her children, she now focuses on the good things in life and has learnt that there are many ways to say “no”.

Jo Jefferson, domestic abuse support worker at the DAWN Project run by Worcester Community Trust, said: “When Kelly was referred to us by her health visitor, she was understandably nervous.

“Watching her recovery has been a wonderful process to see and to be involved with. Although her ex-partner continues to regret his actions and clearly wants to resume the relationship, Kelly has discovered the strength within herself to make the right decision for both her and her children.

“Her sense of self-worth continues to grow and we are all so proud of the life changes she has made. While many women who experience domestic abuse are financially dependent on their partners, Kelly’s situation was slightly different as she carried on with her job. This independence has served her well.”

Many survivors of domestic abuse experience a sense of isolation for years after it has stopped. The DAWN Project recognises this and supports women to find their place in the community.

It has access and links to groups and networks which provide a sense of safety and Kelly regularly attends play schemes as part of this with her younger child.

Kelly added: “At its very worse, I could only really concentrate on how it was making me feel and I did not thoroughly understand the impact it was having on my children. The DAWN Project has helped me realise this and they are both so much more settled and happier.

"I am also much happier and really enjoy being on my own and not having to worry about what sort of mood he is in. DAWN has been an absolute lifeline to me and I am so grateful for all the support I have received and the fact that I can call on my support worker in the future.”

The DAWN Project Worcester

DAWN is a free, confidential and non-judgmental service for women who are experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse.

It aims to:

• enable and empower women

• believe women

• provide a service tailored to the needs of the individual

• enable women to make informed decisions to make their own changes

• offer safety planning

• give emotional support

• help to access criminal and civil justice processes

• raise confidence and promote well being

• liaise with other support and advice agencies

• provide housing information

• help to access benefits, debt management and financial advice and signpost individuals to appropriate services

It also offers individual face to face support and group work sessions aimed at building confidence and self-esteem.

DAWN offers:

• Individual face-to-face support sessions for women who have experienced or are experiencing domestic abuse

• A variety of group-work programmes aimed at building confidence and self-esteem including the Freedom Programme

• Support to women at all stages of abusive relationships, whether or not they are still living with a perpetrator

Domestic abuse affects women and men from all walks of life and children are often affected as they may witness the abuse.

Help is available and anyone who is concerned about themselves, their partner, a friend or relative then please contact the police or a support organisation, every report of domestic abuse is recorded and investigated, with victims safeguarded.

There are many inspirational survivors who regained their independence, self-esteem and confidence.

The Dawn Project is based at The Tolly Community Hub, Rowan Avenue, Worcester, WR4 9QW, and can be contacted by telephoning 07713 200699 or emailing dawn@worcestercommunitytrust.org.uk