* The fundamentals

Marriages may be made in heaven but organising a wedding requires a far more down-to-earth approach.

Everyone naturally wants their special day to be memorable for the things that went right - not for shoes that pinched, the caterers that added an extra nought to the numbers and hoped no one would notice, or the wedding 'limousine' that looked rather suspiciously like a taxi cab with a bit of ribbon stuck to it.

There are endless points that need attention, beginning with deciding the date and booking the venue.

Saturdays are always popular so, if it's your intention to wed at the weekend, you'll need to fix it at least three to six months in advance.

For similar reasons, book caterers and the reception venue at the same time, even if you're not sure how many guests you'll have.

Deciding how many people to invite is the next step and should be taken jointly by both families. Tact and diplomacy are needed when one side wants to import a coachload of thirsty distant relatives but is unspecific about who is going to pay.

Likewise, if a divorced parent declares: "If she's coming, then I'm not", suggest one comes to the service, the other to the reception.

Arrange the honeymoon early - popular destinations are often sold out months ahead.

Confirm your booking in writing and then reconfirm close to your departure date.

* The details

With the book-ahead basics done, it's time to choose your bridesmaids, best man, ushers and page boys, and to spend time on one of the nicest tasks - shopping for that wedding dress, and for dresses and accessories for both yourself and your bridesmaids.

Make sure you've got a picture of your wedding dress and headdress if possible -- this will help your hairstylist.

Book the photographer and/or the video company, cars (or liaise with family and friends willing to provide transport) and beauty therapist for your wedding day make-up, and then order your wedding cake.

See the vicar again, confirm the banns and consult him, or her, about the music, confetti, bells and the order of service, etc.

Send out invitations (at least six weeks before your big day) and remember to keep a list of who has accepted and who has refused.

Book a hotel for the wedding night. Arrange wedding stationery, including invitations ("Mr and Mrs James Smith request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter etc) and order of service sheets.

Send invitations out at least six weeks before the wedding.

Draw up a wedding present list - this is one of the most enjoyable chores, so make the most of it.

Choose your wedding ring and going-away outfit. Organise floral arrangements for the church and reception. Order bouquets, buttonholes, etc, and send out wedding present lists to those who request one.

The final stages include: letting the caterers know the final reception numbers, having a full dress rehearsal, checking all of the details again, and arranging for your honeymoon suitcases to be taken to the reception venue.

* The day itself

Make sure you set your alarm clocks. It's traditional for the bride to be a little late, but sharing a service with the next group in line isn't ideal.

Make sure the best man has the ring and the groom has his speech.

Don't forget to take a cheque book along to pay the church fees, and remember to take along the presents for attendants and parents.

Not surprisingly, some people leave everyone to a professional wedding organiser. Yet most brides love the excitement of all the preparations. That's how it should be - but don't forget to get help if you need it, and delegate tasks wherever possible.

* Checklist

- Set a date, and then make arrangements to see the vicar or registrar.

- Book the caterers and the reception venue.

- Draw up a guest list with the help of both families.

- Book your honeymoon.

- Choose your bridesmaids, best man and ushers.

- Shop for wedding dress, bridesmaids' dresses, accessories and wedding rings.

- Book transport, photographer, hairdresser and beautician and order the cake.

- Send out the invitations.

- Prepare your present list.

- Organise floral arrangements, bouquets, etc.

- Keep track of who accepts/refuses invitations.

- Finalise reception numbers, notify caterers, hold a dress rehearsal and, finally, recheck all the details, from the cars to the cake, the flowers and the photography.