THE BBC is joining forces with a university to record accents and regional speech variations.

The corporation wants to capture them before it's too late.

Patronising or what?

And pretty rich, too. Thanks to the corporation's appalling EastEnders, the thickest half of the nation's youth are now speaking a strangled Stepney patois punctuated by the obligatory glottal stop.

In fact, strangers walking down Worcester's thoroughfares could be forgiven for thinking that they had strayed into streets that were within the sound of Bow Bells.

It's even creeping into court cases, too. Defence statements often sound as if they have been made by Cockney gangsters.

If the BBC really wants to discover the last vestiges of dialect, their best chance would be to find a Cotswold village that hasn't been invaded by young professionals.

Regional identity is being eroded by rubbish such as EastEnders. Such programmes are really nothing more than sentimental pap.

Sadly, in the cosy, fantasy world of middle-class media people, the nearest thing to rural reality isThe Archers.

Enough said.