NEVER before has this reviewer given any film no stars or so felt a film had absolutely no reason to be made in the first place.

This was utter dross and its only merit was there's a vaguely amusing dog in it called Bags who is sadly killed in the first 15 minutes. I personally think he committed suicide - any association with this film could drive a person/animal to that.

Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy play a couple of immature newly-weds who suddenly decide on their honeymoon that they don't actually have anything in common.

After much highly unfunny slapstick humour in which our main players have continual nosebleeds, the couple split and then come together in the last five minutes for a painfully saccharine-soaked reunion.

The plot is wafer thin and the comedy is simply not funny but the Academy Award for most dire attribute of a film has to go to the script. Such classic lines as 'Uh, you know, sometimes like when it's umm, over, it's like, umm, over,' left me reeling. Move over Confucius, there's a new philosopher on the block.

To call a film pathetic is a little harsh but when you find yourself opting for having your nails extracted by rusty pliers rather than having to view a film a second time, I think "pathetic" is justified.

There are some DVD extras but as one of the characters from this film would intelligently say, 'whatever!'

HC