IF you're in a couple, there's one rule in life. DON'T FORGET VALENTINE'S DAY!

OK, I mean if you're male and in a couple but, nevertheless, you can't beat being smothered with love on February 14.

When it comes to buying Valentine's gifts, get it wrong and you could be in the doghouse all year.

Get it right and your better half will be boring all and sundry with your greatness for eternity.

So, do you go for the subtle approach or opt for the lavish touch?

If the latter is the way forward and you have a few beans to part with, forget boring restaurants and celebrate with old-world glamour by dining on the Orient Express.

During your seven-hour trip through the English countryside, you'll enjoy two meals with wine and champagne.

Trips depart from Victoria, London, cost from £425 and are available from Red Letter Days.

Call 0870 444 4004 or visit www.redletterdays.co.uk

For a more local twist, the Severn Valley Railway is planning a steamy Valentine's evening special to literally whisk you off your feet.

Passion fruit is on the four-course menu to whet your appetite for love.

The train leaves Kidderminster station at 7.45pm, returning by 10.45pm.

To book a place (costing £30) call 01562 827232 (Mon-Fri).

Personally, I think you can't go wrong with the ultimate offering from the husky god of seduction, big old Bazzer White.

Barry White - The Collection includes You're The First, the Last, my Everything and oozes with other sultry classics.

Visit www.amazon.com to buy the CD for £11.99.

As men are from Mars etc etc, why not buy your loved one an acre of his homeland?

He'll receive the deeds, a site map pin pointing his property, mineral rights, and a copy of the original declaration of ownership, all for £19.95.

Call 07002 892 443 or visit www.buyagift.co.uk

Meanwhile, jeweller H Samuel is saying All You Need Is Love in style this year with a silver heart necklace based on a sketch John Lennon drew for his son Sean.

It costs £45 on 0800 389 4683 or at www.hsamuel.co.uk

But as every lovely lady will tell you, the old ones are the best (not men - unless, of course, they're George Cowley) and luxurious lingerie is guaranteed to warm a few cockles.

A particularly nice set is Marks & Spencer's Romance combo, which includes the Romance bra, £19, and matching high leg knickers, £8, in black, red and cream.

This year's cuddly offering from The Bear Factory is a limited edition, comes with its own birth certificate, clothes, accessories and a passport.

You can even give it a voice - to announce a wedding proposal per chance?

It costs £17.99 by calling 020 7479 7393 or visiting www.thebearfactory.co.uk

Marks & Spencer's Love In A Tub has everything a girl could ever want for a sumptuous night in.

Its heart-shaped box contains two bottles of Cava, a bath bomb, heart-shaped sponge, rubber duck and a ''do not disturb'' sign for the bathroom door, all for £19.99.

To send roses in a stylish, innovative fashion, opt for Jane Packer's delicately beaded bag containing six glitter-tipped grand prix roses and nine moreish milk chocolate praline truffles. Available from Debenhams.

Combine subtle and lavish and you get Harrods' Be Mine love token for £6.95 or a red heart-shaped paperweight for £14.95.

Don't worry - you don't have to travel all the way to the department store, but call 0207 730 1234 or visit www.harrods.com

Whittard's have a cheeky chocolate box with a wooden pop-up girl declaring: "You make me weak at the knees".

It's a snip at £2.50 on 0800 0154 394 or www.whittard.com

And to ensure your man's dressed the part for his Valentine's date, send him a meticulously-tailored Haines & Bonner shirt straight to his desk.

They'll gift wrap it and throw in a free pair of heart cufflinks (from £50).

Call 0207 623 5558 or visit www.haines-bonner.co.uk

If you can't decide on a gift for him, send him a selection box.

The Harrod's gentleman's gift set includes five-year old Whisky 70cl, three milk chocolate-covered marzipan cigars, a double pack of playing cards and two crested crystal tot glasses, all presented in a Harrods gift box for £65.

Alternatively, you could just snuggle up with a Chinese take-away and a bottle of plonk as I plan to do. Not with Mr Cowley, however, (sorry George).