NICOLA GOODMAN discusses the rules of engagement when it comes to marriage.

We have a certain Lord Hardwicke to thank for the modern marriage ceremony.

Indeed, when he brought it in with the first Marriage Act of 1753, he was so keen on it that he thought of imposing the death penalty on anyone who breached it. He benevolently reduced this to a mere 14 years deportation.

Married couples have since enjoyed a number of legal rights and duties.

They have a duty to live together.

This was altered to allow them to agree otherwise after a Mrs Jackson in 1891 told her husband that she was staying with her family. He arranged to have her kidnapped after church one Sunday by two strangers and kept prisoner at his house. He was later judged to be out of order.

If you divorce you are entitled to a claim on each other's income and property. If one of you dies without a will, the other will automatically succeed to any pension rights and to most of their spouse's property. If you are married, your children are recognised as legally yours.

If you choose to live together without a marriage contract you can devise your own. Any cohabitation contract has to be very carefully drawn up. Without one you are still entitled to some rights on each other.

You can insist on the sale of a house bought with your partner, provided it is not used as a home for your children. If either of you dies you can claim on each other's property through Court but it is not automatic. Unmarried fathers can be recognised as legal fathers if they obtain 'Parental Responsibility' by an agreement or Court Order.

However, there will never be any cohabitation equivalent to a wife's right to blame her wrongdoing on her husband. In the old days he would have to assume responsibility for her crime. If it were committed in his presence, the husband and not the wife would be convicted. Even today it is perfectly legal for a wife to defend herself by claiming that 'he made me do it.' What better incentive does a girl need!

Nicola Goodman runs the matrimonial department at Guest Walker & Co, 12a The Shambles, York. She operates a civil Legal Aid franchise, specialising in family law and is a member of the Family Law Panel.