Excuses for being late on your wedding day.

I was busy untying myself from the lamppost, finding my clothes and returning the handcuffs to the police station.

The post was late and I had to wait for my Decree Absolute.

The dog ate my top hat.

I had to lose two more pounds before I could fit in my wedding dress.

The cup final went into extra time.

My diary entry said "Big Day!" and I thought it meant a double episode of EastEnders.

I had to bail out the bridesmaids.

My mum said I had to tidy my room before I could leave the house.

I thought you were joking.

I was busy arguing with my psychiatrist about whether I should invite my invisible evil twin.