THE defeated Conservatives were staring down the barrel of a gun from day one.

The polls were predicting a Labour landslide from early, the public wasn't bothered about their favourite topic - Europe - and the building next to Central Office was being ripped apart by workmen.

But, in the face of extreme adversity, they always managed a laugh.

Some thought they were just putting on a brave face. Others thought insanity was setting in. But at least it brightened up an incredibly tedious closing week to an incredibly tedious campaign.

The highlight came on a day when the builders were having a particularly busy day.

They managed to disrupt almost every Press conference with their crashing and banging - often at times when a shadow front bencher was struggling to make an important point.

But, on this particular morning, it sounded like the walls really were about to come crashing down.

Shadow Foreign Secretary Francis Maude should have been cross - and you suspect some Cabinet Ministers would have failed to see the funny side.

But Mr Maude kept his chin up. "What we can hear is last- minute supporters trying to break into the building," he said.

Michael Portillo was also in on the act, stating bravely (if optimistically): "That sound is preparation for Government!"

He also showed a nice line in self-deprecation this week.

Under pressure from bored hacks, he was asked if he'd eat his hat if the polls proved right and the Tories were given a hammering.

The Shadow Chancellor, his quiff standing tall and proud, replied: "I don't have a hat because it would cover up one of my best features."