WHEN Droitwich mum Nicky Taylor watches her children smile as they open their presents, the feelings of joy will soon be crushed by both sadness and guilt.

Sadness because three of her five children have been torn from her, and guilt for having so much while the three have nothing.

For this is the third Christmas the mum has spent apart from her children, who she believes are being forced to live as Muslims in Pakistan after they were snatched by their father.

Ten-year-old Adam, Daniel, aged nine, and six-year-old Alex were collected by their father Zamir in August 1998.

But the four soon disappeared, leaving the distraught 31-year-old to face an ongoing nightmare she prays will end sooner rather than later.

"Christmas is very hard. I miss them terribly," she said.

"The boys are probably not being allowed to celebrate Christmas, which makes me feel really bad while we're opening our presents."

"If it wasn't for my other two - Conah, who's three, and Lewis, who's 15 months - it would be even worse. But I have to pick myself and ensure I don't ruin their Christmas. It wouldn't be fair."

Interpol has been searching for the boys, but to no avail. The mum has also set up the Homeward Bound Fund in a bid to raise enough money to find and return her children.

But she added it was not just the celebrations she found so difficult, it was the run up to Christmas.

"Shopping for presents is very hard," she added.

"As I look for Conah and Lewis's presents I automatically think about what the boys would've liked, and then I start wondering when I'm going to see them again.

"But I live in the hope that one day the brothers will meet one and other, and I'll have my family back."