A NURSE who took an overdose after a night out drinking had been sexually abused in the past and left notes in her journal stating "my rapist should have killed me".

Gillian Edwards was "clearly depressed" and had also been struggling to come to terms with the break up of a five-year relationship, an inquest heard.

The 30-year-old was found dead outside her flat in Peak View, Malvern, at 11.15am on Sunday, May 15 by her neighbour Kevin Carter.

It is believed the staff nurse, who worked at Worcestershire Royal Hospital, had gone outside for a cigarette.

Worcestershire County Coroner's Court in Stourport-on-Severn heard yesterday how Miss Edwards had been to Malvern's Lighthouse nightclub with neighbour Tracey Stevenson the previous night and had told her she was finding it difficult to cope with the end of a relationship.

A statement from Det Con Andrew Moore described how Miss Edwards had confided to boyfriend Simon Goodyear that a previous boyfriend used to assault her, which still caused her a "degree of stress".

"She also had a slipped disc and was in constant pain, which made life very difficult.

"On one occasion she inflicted some minor cuts to her wrist with a glass she had allegedly accidentally broken and on another she told Simon that she scratched her stomach with a pair of scissors."

Mr Moore said a diary was found in her flat with comments that showed she was "clearly feeling depressed and had low self-esteem".

Along with the entry about her sexual assault she wrote: "One of my aims is to lose as much weight as possible so my coffin is light to be carried at my funeral".

But in a police statement her ex-boyfriend said he did not believe Gillian would have taken her own life.

Family members recalled her saying that as a nurse, she could never harm herself.

A post-mortem revealed she had died from an overdose of paracetamol and codeine, with alcohol a factor.

Worcestershire coroner Victor Round said to return a verdict of suicide he would have to prove beyond all reasonable doubt Miss Edwards intended to take her own life, and he could not.

"She had a lot to drink and had back pain and those who knew her said she would never want to be found in the way she was found," he said.

"This leads me to think this was not her final intention."

He recorded an open verdict.