A REQUEST. If you are one of those people who have already finished your Christmas shopping, please can you keep it to yourself.

Don’t bother telling me face-to-face.

Don’t make it your Facebook status.

Just sit quietly and feel smug if you have to but keep me out of it.

Otherwise I may have to point out that, as far as I’m aware, it’s not actually a race.

And that Christmas Eve was invented for a reason.

And that if you are this far ahead in your preparations, you will be seriously bored of the whole shebang by Boxing day.

What’s more, if you so much as hint that you’ve also wrapped all your presents up three weeks in advance I’m not sure I can be held responsible for my actions.

Haven’t you got anything better to do?

You may think it is sour grapes because I am not as organised as you but really it isn’t.

I just think buying gifts for others is what Christmas is all about.

And that includes the weeks of searching for the right thing, humming and haring, mulling it over and going back to the same shop two or three times before you end up surveying your pile of goodies with satisfaction.

And yes probably you will realise you’ve forgotten something and end up running around the shops dodging dozens of stunned looking dads/boyfriends/brothers and sourfaced shop assistants at 4pm on Christmas Eve but, you know, so what.

That’s what makes life fun.

And at least my shopping comes with accompanying carol singers and pretty fairy lights.

How can that possibly compare to the sterile list-ticking exercise of shopping for Christmas before autumn is even finished?

The worst of it all, though, is the unpleasant smugness that comes with the announcement.

As if we are all in the middle of a festive competition but nobody told me it was underway.

Well, I’m not playing.

I am happy to stand up for all those who don’t get a perverse kick out of being the first to finish.

I am fine with the fact that my shopping has yet to start in earnest.

I don’t care that the bottom of my wardrobe is empty.

I have got it all to look forward to and I’m going to savour every minute because there are plenty of chores in life without turning Christmas into one.