How to change your child’s bad behaviour (From Worcester News)

How to change your child’s bad behaviour

10:21am Tuesday 3rd October 2006 in News By Ellen Branagh

FOR most parents, children are rewarding and fulfilling - even if they play up sometimes. But some mums and dads find themselves at their wit's end dealing with a youngster that constantly misbehaves.

Parenting expert Val Crane is offering these parents a solution to their problems, with one-on-one parenting classes based on a tried-and-tested method.

Val, from Little Comberton, near Pershore, has spent a year running the classes for parents whose children are aged three to 10 years old, thanks to funding from the Children's Fund.

But, she said, although the funding has come to an end, she wants to continue the classes and has set up her own business, called the Positive Parenting Skills Programme.

"I thought, now we are getting such fantastic results from parents saying it has changed their lives for the best, it is silly to let them go," she said.

"I have to charge. I would love to be able to do it for free but, unfortunately, I cannot."

Val, who has two grown-up children of her own, said she had worked with young people for many years, first with families and young people in family mediation, before becoming involved in youth work, working with young offenders.

She still carries out voluntary work with the police. When young people's parents will not come to get them, she sits with the youngsters during interviews.

The classes are for three to 10-year-olds who have mild to moderate behaviour problems - anything from temper tantrums, to not staying in bed at night, or other generally naughty behaviour.

Val uses the Triple P method, developed in Australia by clinical psychologists at the University of Queensland.

The programme uses four one-on-one sessions which help parents monitor their youngster's behaviour then advise them on how to make changes.

"What I am hoping to do is to get to parents who have problems with their children and do not know where to turn for a solution," Val said. "With the intensive one-on-one sessions they really open up, they are less inhibited." Val said some people were worried about the stigma attached to parenting classes, but she encouraged them to come along to sort problems out before they escalate.

Single mum Katie Smith, aged 22, of Wyld's Lane, Worcester, said she had been at the end of the tether with her two-and-a-half-year-old son, Harry.

"He was not badly behaved but he was getting to the point where he had pushed my patience as far as he could, I couldn't get through to him," she said. "I tried taking his toys away from him and other simple things but nothing seemed to get through to him - he thought it was a game."

She said she had found the classes brilliant, and had a parenting plan designed for her and Harry.

"We tried the naughty chair and it works an absolute treat. It wasn't just him, it was the way I would talk to him as well but it's worked and he is good as gold now," she added. "I did worry at first about what people would think, then I thought, well I can sit here and do nothing, or I can go and do something about it. I thought it's up to me'.

"At the end of the day, not every child is the same, so what somebody might have tried and worked for them is not going to work for you - I just thought, I want something that was tailored to suit me.

"Val said it's nothing to be ashamed about, and at least I was doing something about it instead of leaving the problem to get worse."

Val said she took referrals from headteachers, GPs and health visitors, or some parents referred themselves.

"It's all about families interacting with one another and spending more time with one another," she said.

"It's also about how parents can have more fun with their children - its not just about problems, it's about how to change their family life for the best. And it's not serious and intensive, it's quite light and non-judgmental."

Anyone interested in the classes, or with suggestions for a venue, can contact Val Crane on 01386 710341.

Katie's name has been changed to protect her identity.

THE four Stages

Session 1 -

Focuses on the history and nature of the problem. Everyone watches part one of a parenting video and sets up a system to monitor the problem behaviour.

Session 2 -

This looks at the results of the monitoring, then part two of the video is shown and a parenting plan is devised.

Session 3 -

Involves monitoring progress and the introduction of additional strategies.

Session 4 -

Reviews progress, troubleshoots any difficulties, fine-tunes the programme and takes feedback from the parents.

WHERE ELSE CAN YOU GO FOR HELP

SureStart offers parents help with difficult children, providing two different courses, run in conjunction with your health visitor.

Lisa Leonard, from SureStart, said they offered the Fun and Families and Nought to Sixes parenting programmes, from the Family Care Trust.

"They are rotated round the city, and a creche comes with them, parents can just book in and find where their next one is," she said.

For more information contact 01905 753960.

The county council also offers Parents Matter, which provides advice, support and guidance to agencies that deliver parenting.

Peter Sugg, programme manager for the Worcestershire Children's Fund, said in the past year Parents Matter had worked with more than 400 parents in a range of parenting courses and group activities.

And another 67 families have accessed individual, one-to-one support. He said the activities were targeted in Worcester, Redditch and Kidderminster with Tenbury Wells being added towards the end of the year. To contact Parents Matter call 0800 587 5980. The Parents Matter co-ordinator, Linda Nicklin is on 01905 827443.