Ode to the odious... or ditty to dirty dribblers (From Worcester News)

Ode to the odious... or ditty to dirty dribblers

10:20am Wednesday 12th September 2012 in News By Catherine Phillips, Reporter

A CREATIVE woman has proved the pen is mightier than the sword – or in this case spit – in a bid to stop her Worcester workplace being targeted.

Jackie Burnett, clinic manager at the Osteopathic Clinic, has penned a cutting poem aimed at the ‘phantom dribbler’ who has been spitting on the windows and doors of the business on the Tything.

Fed up with having to clear up the offensive stains every morning, she let her feelings known through the rhyme.

Miss Burnett said: “It has been going on for months now so about three months ago I put a poster up and it stopped for a while but a few weeks ago it started up again.

“I decided to write a poem but didn’t have a plan for it, it just came out once I had the rhythm going.” She said that while she felt the matter may have been too trivial for the police to deal with, she wanted to get the message across to whoever was carrying out the vile attacks.

“It is just not very nice having to clean it up every morning and just silly, really really silly.” The poster has been causing quite a stir with people stood outside the window laughing, giving Miss Burnett the thumbs-up or popping their heads around the door to tell her how good it was.

The 46-year-old added: “It has given me quite a confidence boost. I like to write poems but out of all the hundreds of poems I have written I have only kept four of them because I would think they were rubbish and throw them away.”

Jackie's poem

I see the phantom dribbler’s back
A-drooling on the glass
It seems an unbecoming way
to get the time to pass.

Most people go to work
and use the brains they’ve got
But you just knuckle-drag along
and spit out your mouth-snot.

Perhaps you think you’re gifted
with this athletic drool
Maybe you think it’s clever – but it’s the action of a fool.

Maybe you are impeded
by a silly childish brain
And I suppose in that case
you’ll spit on here again.

Well, you just keep on dribbling-
you’re really rather dirty
And I’ll just keep on writing
things, and getting shirty.

Maybe one day you’ll grow up
And stop acting like a cretin
Though I won’t put my wage on it.