St Richard's appeal: We only focus on patients and families (From Worcester News)

I was diagnosed with terminal cancer of the bowel in November 2006. As a regular member of the day hospice, I would like to add a comment to express my thanks to all the staff and volunteers of St Richard's. I thought that perhaps my best way of telling people about the hospice was to include a relevant passage from the book I am writing at the moment. I have changed all names.

'Mum returned to Otley after a long stay and I arranged to go to St Richard’s Hospice for terminally ill patients. Mark and I were invited to visit the hospice together before I decided to join the day centre. St Richard’s moved to a lovely new building a few years ago, just around the corner from our house. It is set in beautiful grounds next to the Country Park and Nunnery Wood. I was very impressed with the atmosphere and all the facilities available to me there. I was greeted by Collette, one of the nurses, and she showed me around the day centre, mainly a large day room overlooking the garden and a large dining room. There were also several small rooms, one of which we used to talk about what I could gain from the hospice. There was also a room with a large bath and a chapel which was called the ‘Quiet Room’. This had a beautiful stained glass window, a few chairs and a small table altar to one side. What really impressed me was the relaxed, content atmosphere within; everyone seemed happy though here was a group of patients, all of whom were terminally ill. Some were doing craft work or painting, a couple were working on a jigsaw, some were sitting in a group and talking, others were lying quietly with their eyes closed, perhaps asleep. On this day, many of the patients were quite elderly but I was told that on Wednesdays the group was quite mixed.

I arranged to go every other week on a Wednesday but once I had been there, I went every week! There was a hairdresser, Trudy, who was a really good stylist. She worked in the morning on a Wednesday, giving up her time freely to help others like me. Trudy had a sister who died of cancer in Spain. There were so many other volunteers. Nicola treated me to some reflexology. She was quite amazing and when she pressed the nerves on my foot, I could feel the corresponding part of the body that it applied to. She asked me where I felt the pinging and it was correct. I felt very tired after the reflexology and this showed how powerful the treatment was but I felt that, because of the chemotherapy, I had better leave this as it was too strong for me. The next time I tried Reiki. I had always thought that this would be useless as you weren’t even touched. However, I felt so relaxed and heavenly after this and have experienced it several times since. Lunch was a grand occasion and the volunteers served us a choice between a meat and vegetarian meal. The tables were beautifully laid with tablecloths and a centrepiece of flowers, always fresh. In the afternoon, I chose to go to ‘Quiet Time’. This was just a quiet session usually held in the chapel; sometimes there would be prayer or communion, other times we talked, read poetry or listened to music. I always enjoyed these times; being there with people who truly understood meant so much to me and helped me.

I have grown to look forward to these days at St Richard’s so much; I have learned so much from the people there, both patients and volunteers and I have realised how lucky I am to be still around. So many of the friends I have made have passed away, many of them younger than me. It makes no difference who you are or how rich you may be when life is taken. Talking to all these people and remembering them has helped me; we often talked about death and how the family would accept it. It sounds morose but it helps one to be able to talk to people who understand and are going through the same. Other friends who have no illness often find it too upsetting to talk in the way we could; they find it hard to see how we could talk so openly. I had got to know a special person there so well and she told me about the cardboard coffin with flowers around the side that she had ordered for herself over the internet. It is very hard when you actually see the coffin in the church and think back to the conversation that we had. It was impossible to really imagine her active body so lifeless as she lay there.'

Perhaps these few words will give you a glimpse of a small part of the work of St Richard's. I have had no personal experience of the in-patient unit but know several people who have benefited from it.