This week I donned my favourite burgundy polo neck, put on my fingerless driving gloves, adjusted my mirrored aviator sunglasses and left gridlocked Worcester behind in a cloud of dust.

I longed for the wind in my full head of flowing dark hair (before it falls out while I die of old age waiting for Highways to finish the flood alleviation scheme in New Road), so off I went with a twinkle in my eye and a song in my heart (Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins), all the way to the White Hart in Fernhill Heath.

The venue had ample car parking spaces although the bays were unmarked, something of an oversight in my opinion.

Don’t panic. I’m not going to spend valuable column inches boring you to tears writing about the car park.

Okay, I will then. It’s my firm belief that car parks, like the pyramids of Ancient Egypt and the Corby Trouser Press, are a yardstick of civilisation, a bulwark against anarchy. After all, if you give people an inch they’ll take a mile, especially if they drive a Range Rover.

The car park surface was well-maintained and a quick reconnaissance revealed no pot holes which could damage my car’s tyres or tracking or cause me to fall over and do myself a serious mischief, thereby depriving you of the pleasure of reading my review, which I know is a highlight of the day for many of you.

The interior of the pub felt quite drab and dated with lots of what might be called ‘chintz’ – ostentatious floral lampshades, commemorative tea sets and clocks, all of which recalled my late grandmother’s lounge circa 1985. That was also the year Back to the Future came out, one of my all time favourite films.

Like a better looking version of Marty McFly, I felt I’d stepped out of the DeLorean into a strange new (or rather old) world.

Not only were salt and pepper on the table but also a generous assortment of table sauces.

Though the sachets were not of a brand I recognised, they were helpfully printed with idiot proof labels ('It’s tomato ketchup' etc), perhaps for the assistance of any dim-witted bumpkins who might mistake it for red diesel.

Ordering was a simple matter of going to the bar. I decided on fish and chips and a pint of Otter Ale.

The total price was £13.50 so I was expecting good things. However, the food, which arrived in good time, was rather average. It wasn’t unpleasant, just a little bland and I would have expected a tastier offering for the price especially in so competitive a market.

Oddly, carrots were served with the meal. I would expect a serving of peas, mushy or garden depending on my preference, but not carrots. Never carrots.

It was as if the chef had made another customer a roast dinner, had some carrots left over and decided, rather than waste them, he would serve them up for my delectation.

The pub must be complimented on its range of starters, meat dishes, poultry, fish, salads, and vegetarian options and a kids corner.

A sizeable beer garden also makes it a good destination for the summer months.

SCORES

  • Atmosphere 6/10

  • Decor 4/10

  • Staff 7/10

  • Drink 8/10

  • Food 5/10

  • Prices 5/10

  • Overall 6/10