It feels like it’s been going on forever. There’s been ups and downs, triumphs and failures, times of feverish excitement and long periods of crushing, suffocating boredom.

Power has flipped from one faction to the other so many times I’ve lost count. I’m not even sure anymore what exactly the goal is, it just seems to be an excuse for two sides to pick away at each other endlessly over things that no one fully understands. It’s draining and wearying and I’ve lost my temper more than once. When, oh when, will this flippin’ summer holiday end.

Well, it ends tomorrow as it happens. So far, I’ve been too scared to raise the subject. Yes, it’s been hard. I have dipped below the water level of my parenting abilities so many times I nearly drowned. I have wondered whether there is summer holiday respite care for parents of young children on the NHS. Probably not. I have hidden in the toilet, the kitchen, the bedroom.

But I also feel sad. I have spent a lot of time with my kids. Some of those times have been wonderful. And I suspect that if we kept at it for long enough, we might get the hang of this summer holiday thing. Unfortunately, summer does not last forever.

But I cannot put it off any longer. I have to raise the dreaded issue of school with them. They will be devastated. I have worked so hard to fill their time with happiness, excitement and wonder, that school will be a pale and unbearably tedious experience. I may have made summer so wonderful, I have ruined them for school forever.

“Guys, I’m afraid today is the last day of your summer holi-”

“Yay! School!” My son shout joyfully.

“Yes!” My daughter yells, punching the air.