I’m not sure how the slide into addiction and prison happens. I think it starts by going on Instagram, then the dark web, then you become a drug addict and an arms dealer. I need to protect my kids from this baffling, scary world, but at the same time prepare them so they don’t hide from the world in a cupboard, shivering and whimpering.

I don’t hide in a cupboard shivering and whimpering. I do that mostly on the loo. I also occasionally escape the real world entirely by playing a video game. I like a calm game. Exploration. Freedom. The power to make my own choices. All the things I can’t do very much in the real world.

I recently was introduced to a popular block-based exploration and building game. I’m a huge wussy, so luckily I can set it so there is no conflict whatsoever.

READ MORE: That's that for another year

I just explore different caves and landscapes and build things with blocks. I built a treehouse. It was lovely. Like sending your brain to a brain spa with brain massages and brain facepacks and a glass of brain Prosecco in the brain Jacuzzi.

My son started watching me play. Ah, I thought, this would be a lovely introduction into the world of video games for him. No violence. No scary bits. Just freedom and learning and creativity. And no route onto the dark web. Great parenting choice, me.

Ten minutes later he has discovered at least five things I didn’t know, including that it’s possible to fly. After an hour I say it’s time to stop. Partly so that I can have a go.

“No, daddy, please, no, just want to do one more thing, no pleeeeeeeeease!!” He stares up at me with wild, desperate eyes. “Please, daddy, I just neeeeeeed another go.”