POLICE have appealed for women to use the New Year to leave abusive partners in the past.

West Mercia Police Neighbourhood Watch launched the appeal as domestic abuse is on the increase, with 1 in 3 women experiencing domestic abuse in their lifetime, and two women per week being killed by a partner.

Following the appeal, a Worcestershire survivor, who asked not to be identified, has shared her story of escaping her abuser with Worcester News readers.

She said: “My experience of domestic abuse started in childhood. My father was very abusive. We all walked on eggshells.

“I sat in the doctors with him and my mother as she lied about how her wrist got broken. I left home at 16.

“Sadly, I found myself at 18, in an abusive relationship with an older man. He started off very lovingly; but soon after moving in with him, it became clear that he was very similar to my father.

“He shouted, ranted, threw things, broke my belongings.

“He made it clear who I could and couldn’t see. He controlled my finances, wouldn’t let me go away to see friends, always said that I owed him money and had to work to pay it off. He never directly hit me, but he threw things at me, stabbed knives into the wall above my head, and self-harmed in front of me, saying ‘Look what you made me do.’ He told me if I left him, he’d kill me and then kill himself.

“Christmas as a child was ridden with stress. My father hated Christmas, and would control every aspect of it, right down to opening our gifts for us with his penknife. There would inevitably be a blow-up a couple of days beforehand, where he would ‘Cancel Christmas!’ My mother managed to talk him round, but it was a stressful time. It was the same with my abusive ex.

“We visited my parents for Christmas. He and my father immediately clashed. My ex opened a packet of cheese that my father had wanted to open himself. An insignificant thing, but they both exploded. Shouted at each other, demanded apologies, my ex stormed out and refused to come back in, while my father refused to allow him back in the house.

“I passed my mother on my way to placate the ex, as she was on her way to placate my father. 'The things we have to do!' she trilled, fake merrily. That was a massive wake up call for me. Here she was, 40 years down the line, still with someone who was behaving like an idiot. I vowed I wouldn’t end up the same as her.

“I managed to put some plans in place to get away. I found somewhere else to live, arranged it, and asked a mutual, understanding friend, to invite my ex to visit, a few hundred miles away. During that trip, I moved out. That was 18 years ago now, and I’ve heard that he was still trying to find me. I still suffer from paranoia, PTSD, anxiety and depression.

“I think once you’ve been through that, your brain is never quite the same again. I’m so glad I escaped. I could still be there, and I’m not, I’m safe and I’m happy.

“My message to anyone who has been going through this this Christmas and New Year, is this: You deserve better. You’re not crazy. Help is out there - you can be safe and happy again. Speak out, and next Christmas can look a whole lot different for you.”

For women thinking of leaving abusive partners, Women’s Aid can help. Ask Me Ambassador for West Mercia Women’s Aid, Siani Driver, said: “I think that Christmas is a really stressful time for everyone, but for someone in a DA relationship it can be so much worse. The added pressures of people being off work, alcohol, financial hardship, relatives and so on - all potential trigger points for abuse and violence to worsen.

“Women’s Aid will help you to make a safety plan and find accommodation, or even help with getting court orders in place to help protect you through the transition. It can be hard for many women to recognise abuse as abuse if there’s no physical violence, but if you’re finding your partner is putting you down, shouting at you, controlling who you can see, controlling your finances, tracking your phone or car, using children or pets to manipulate you, coercing you sexually, blaming you for the abuse or making you feel like you’re going mad. This is controlling or coercive abusive behaviour, which is now as illegal as physical violence.” For more visit westmerciawomensaid.org