NOW I know how King Henry II felt about Thomas a Becket... that troublesome priest was probably in his face all the time. A bit like Bob Geldof, in fact.

Believe me, I'm not, for one single moment, suggesting that a contingent of heavily-armed Norman knights goes round to Geldof Towers and takes a poke at the pop saint.

All the same, it works well as a daydream.

However, very soon, we've got to wade through Live 8, a colossal session of musical

self-abuse in which fabulously wealthy rock stars remind adoring fans of their back catalogues.

Young people who have never heard of Darfur - no, kids, nothing to do with round tables - will be swaying in their countless thousands, convinced that the problems of Africa will shift even faster than the inevitable flood of live albums and onsite merchandising.

The message will be that the West is to blame for all of Africa's difficulties. If only we could provide more aid - solving the continent's plight would be easier than learning the chords of an Oasis number.

Tragically, if aid were the answer, the endless crises of Africa would have been solved years ago. The West has poured in billions - and look what happened to this money.

What wasn't spent on weaponry for feral armies has quickly disappeared into the bottomless pits of dictators' pockets.

The real problem of Africa - and one that condemns 100 million people to lives of misery - is that this land of fabulous resources is not governed properly.

All the pretentious pop posturings in the world will not alter this fact, any more than we in the West can prevent deaths from Aids, that other horseman of the Apocalypse. Only Africans can do that.

Geldof will strut his stuff next month and no doubt be bestowed with even more deification from the usual quarters. But he is a sad, deluded fool who has now become a global distraction to a global problem.