PETER Luff was drawn second out of the hat for Prime Minister's Questions on Wednesday.

But Mr Blair was away, paying tribute to the victims of the Spanish terror attacks in Madrid.

When Mr Blair goes missing, his deputy - John Prescott - fills in.

Peter took full advantage to mock Mr Prescott's legendary abuse of the English language.

He asked him: "What is the Government planning to do to help the Plain English Campaign celebrate its 20th anniversary later this year?

"What will the Deputy Prime Minister do personally to help it wage its war on gobbledegook?"

Loud cheers erupted, but Mr Prescott was clearly not impressed. So he invented a constituency for Peter to represent.

Wherever it is, it is certainly not in mid Worcestershire.

He said: "The honourable member from Tynesed High may get his grammar right, but his thinking on the politics and common sense is often missing.

"That goes for the screen writers as well, but I will not be addressing the conference."

Afterwards, Peter said: "I enjoyed John's reply - he took a tease in good sport and made a pretty witty response. It was a topical subject as that very morning the campaign had launched the resuults of its survey on the most hated clichs - mine is "Bear with me".

"But it is a serious subject. If government, banks, companies and others write their documents in complex and jargon-ridden language, then people won't properly understand what they are being told."