A DEPRESSED teenager who contacted a Worcestershire-based internet site for help thrust her own hand into a kitchen blender after being told to act on her impulse to hurt herself.

Penny Broderick - the horrified founder of the website - immediately shut it down.

Here, she opens up her heart to reporter Suzanne Black about the desperate measures troubled self-harmers go to for solace.

PENNY Broderick has suffered from depression since she was four years old.

Penny, of Knapp Way, Malvern, first started to injure herself from that tender age.

Her first of four suicide attempts was at the age of seven, but she said it was half-hearted, and destined to fail.

"I had been told my thyroid glands had packed up and I was on medication to rectify this. I thought by not taking the medication I would die," she added.

"I didn't realise that my neck would swell up, so people would realise what I was doing.

"I have been in hospital twice and the help I received after those occasions has made me a different person."

Part of Penny's therapy involved her setting up the website www.si-am.info which sets about changing people's attitudes towards self injury.

This was suddenly closed last week when a suicidal girl contacting the site for advice was persuaded to put her hand in a blender by a mentor who had infiltrated the site. Penny says the counsellor - who called herself "Faithless" - was an "evil" woman.

But even now, Penny also feels the need to use the web to reveal her own feelings to others.

Under the pseudonym Crowlia she writes a daily diary on the internet, describing how she sometimes struggles to eat or sleep properly, how she has cut herself and how she has tried to kill herself.

And while it may shock many people that such a person is acting as a ''therapist'' to others, she believes her experiences make her the ideal person to talk to.

"Only people who have a history of self- harm and suicidal attempts can know how others in the same position are feeling," said the 25-year-old.

"And by helping other people it is keeping me going, and I am sure that is the same for the other site helpers and users."

Not everyone is convinced by the good work of si-am, however.

Psychologist Professor Lorraine Sherr, who works at the Royal Free Hospital in London, advised people against going on the website.

"Self-harming is a very serious issue, and while talking is very important, I do not think the internet is the place to do it," she said.

"I do not think the people running it have the sort of knowledge to really help others, even if they have been through similar feelings themselves.

"Anyone who is feeling suicidal needs to talk to a professional to get help. I would be much happier if the website had a link to a helpline such as the Samaritans number."

According to Penny, the website did have links to professional organisations and people were advised to seek help straight away.

"We gave people a list of possibilities of people they should call to get help, including the Samaritans," she added.

"But it is difficult to talk to people who don't know what it is like to feel so depressed you want to take your own life.

"People who feel suicidal cannot help their feelings and it often takes talking to someone else in the same situation to encourage them to seek help."