I HAVE never written to a publication before but I find myself compelled to do so now. I am not writing about any great burning local issue, nor even to complain about the number of pensioners these days who seem to demand a living wage in the form of a pension as a reward for living past 65. No, I find myself writing to you because I'm absolutely choking for a pint.

Using the excuse that I'm going to post a letter I now have a fantastic excuse to get away from the 'trouble and strife' and take a stroll down to our latest new age Post Office to slake the raging thirst.

Ever since the Blue Bell boozer in Callow End diversified to become a Pub Office, my letter writing has increased ten fold. Nuisance letters to minor celebrities, amusing letters to my bank manager and made up letters to Deirdre Sanders, the agony aunt of The Sun. I've written them all!

I say we open more boozers in and around Malvern - that Malvern Outdoors shop that's just closed is a prime candidate. Let's get our hands on it before Scope does!

MR R SCHLOCK, St Andrews Road, Malvern.