Talk of fighting and dark alleys as MPs clash

There have been angry notes, insults even talk of who would win a fight down a dark alley!

The focal point is the question of whether the Government is to repeat last year's £1.35m payment made on top of the county's education settlement to help local schools disadvantaged by the current funding formula.

Last week, Mr Luff asked a Parliamentary question to see if the cash would be forthcoming. Education Minister Stephen Timms replied there were ''no plans'' to do so at present.

The Conservative MP was furious and said it was ''slap in the face'' which could prompt a ''crisis'' in local schools.

But Mr Foster said no final decision had been made and the extra cash could still be forthcoming. He accused Mr Luff of ''scaremongering''.

Mr Luff was upset by this - so he sent a note, on headed Commons notepaper, saying he was not scaremongering and that he would take a ''dim view'' of any repetition of the claim.

Mr Foster responded, also on official notepaper: ''Dear Peter, You will take a 'dim view'. Oh, I am frightened!

''Perhaps 'dim' is the best description I have over most of your comments to date on this matter.''

Classic stuff but it was still restricted to private correspondence at this stage. That changed, however, when Mr Luff opted to read out both letters in a Commons debate on education.

The Mid-Worcestershire MP said he had been ''surprised'' by Mr Foster's letter and had thought about raising it with the Speaker, but had decided he could take care of the matter himself.

However, it should be pointed out he did agree with Mr Foster about the City MP not having cause to be frightened. He commented: ''He has, of course, nothing to be afraid of: if we met in a dark alley, he's a good deal taller than me and I know who'd come off the worse''.

Mr Luff went on: ''I didn't take kindly to being described as 'dim'.'' To shouts of 'Hear! Hear!' from the Tory benches, he went on: ''I always thought I was quick on the uptake.

''If the honourable Gentleman is an honourable Member, which he is, and he implies that I'm dim, he must be right, so I worried about it.''

Mr Luff then turned the tables and said he agreed he had been ''scaremongering''.

''According to the dictionary, it means to encourage panic, and the Government's education policies in general and on funding in particular should cause panic in Worcestershire. They certainly scare me.

''Clearly the honourable Gentleman agrees they're frightening.

''When he accused me of scaremongering, he was praising me for drawing attention to the failure of Government policy, not criticising me. I was indeed dim, and I apologise to him for the misunderstanding. I'm grateful for his support for my attack on the Government!''

Mr Foster had to sit quietly and take this - as Parliamentary aide to Higher Education Minister Margaret Hodge he is forbidden from speaking in the Chamber on these matters.

But he was less than happy afterwards. He said: ''I'm at a loss about this.

The reason I suggested the approach was dim is that I don't see how anybody can foresee a funding forecast in advance of the spending settlement being announced.

''That doesn't happen until the end of this year. If somebody comes to me in January or February and says 'Look how bad our budget is' that will be another matter. But at this stage it is impossible.

''I don't mind scare stories in Mid-Worcestershire but I do object to parents in my constituency being alarmed at such an early stage.''

With parents, governors and teachers now threatening a whip-round to take legal action against the Government, the next note cannot be too far away.

Watch this space...