TWO little ducks, the key of the door, legs, two fat ladies, Heinz varieties.

To thousands of fanatics Bingo is nothing short of a religion - people for whom a "clickety click" could mean the difference between going home empty-handed and that holiest of grails: the full house.

In House! the La Scala bingo hall, run by debonair Mr Anzani (Freddie Jones), is the last of a dying breed: an old-fashioned family business nestling at the heart of a close-knit Welsh community which puts its customers ahead of flashy decor or fairy-tale jackpots.

The staff know the punters by name, Anzani takes a break at half time to serve hot meals to the regulars, and flirtatious caller Gavin (Jason Hughes) engages in friendly banter with the players between draws.

Unfortunately, attendance figures aren't high enough to keep the business afloat and when a glittering Mega Pleasure bingo arena opens in town, boasting flashy computer graphics and a nationwide £1m top prize game, La Scala can't compete.

Not until one of its staff, Linda (Kelly MacDonald), discovers she has the ability to predict the winning numbers before they are drawn.

Fuelled by the belief that she can save the hall from early closure, Linda persuades Anzani to buy into the nationwide £1m game and then provides her scheming aunt (Miriam Margolyes) with the winning card, on the understanding that they split the ill-gotten gains 50-50. It sounds almost too good to be true...

House! - Julian Kemp's boisterous debut feature - is a great deal of fun.

The cast is uniformly excellent, from MacDonald's spunky heroine (sporting a marvellous, lyrical Welsh accent), to Hughes's exceedingly camp love interest, to Margolyes's wickedly detestable, money-grabbing villainess.

Mossie Smith is in show-stopping form as busty fellow worker Kay whose filthy mind claims all the best lines.

Admittedly, the plot ticks off every cliche in the book and follows a well worn path, but it's entertaining stuff nevertheless, excepting the final ten minutes which feels hurried and doesn't deliver quite the emotional high you'd expect.