IT'S a complete mystery why so many of today's youths - lumps of lard right down to their pudgy little feet - should insist on wearing sports gear.

Some say that young people today don't have a sense of irony. But I beg to differ. Watching Worcester's finest fatsos waddling over Sabrina Bridge, it is quite obvious that such porcine torch-bearers for the next generation of unremitting carbohydrate possess a wit that would have turned Oscar Wilde green with envy.

I mean, all those tracksuit bottoms with their wide white stripes, rounded off with the latest fashion trainers. It's no mystery why Britain is the obvious choice for the next Olympics.