ANYWAY, talking about serious birdwatching - or twitching as it is known - I have to report that my wife caused me great embarrassment while in the company of this same group of enthusiasts recently.

The subject of hoopoes cropped up and I alluded to the fact that these striking birds sported barred wings, topped off with a dramatic Incas-style headdress with an overall pinkish tinge. "Ah, pink," nodded my wife, adopting those sage-like tones that means a load of verbal cattle manure is about to head my way. "Do I take it that hoopoes are related to flamingos?"

The man in front gasped and turned to look at me, his wide staring eyes speaking for more eloquently than ever his mouth could. I just looked for a hole to crawl into.