I ALMOST dread opening a newspaper or turning the television on these days.

Remote control quivering in my hand I wonder, since walking into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee, how much worse the eurozone crisis has got.

It’s always far worse than when it was at its worst. But it is far worse now and worse than when I wrote this.

Greece is broke, like a plate in one of its restaurants, and they had the geriatric George Papandreou as their Prime Minister.

Italy is on its backside and while Silvio Berlusconi might like backsides, nobody else is enjoying that position.

As for France and its increasingly irksome President Nicolas Sarkozy – sacre bleu!

Germany could save the day if only Chancellor Angela ‘cheer up chubby chops’ Merkel can persuade her public it’s the best thing to do. Only she can’t.

A stupidly short-sighted idea to prostitute Europe to China has been bandied about but they have taken a look at Papandreou, Berlusconi and Merkel et al and don’t seem too keen to get into bed with them. I don’t blame the Chinese for that.

As a result economists are, for a change, predicting anything and everything will happen while one political commentator suggested there might even be a swarm of locusts on our cities.

If it’s left to Theresa May to defend our borders, there’ll be no stopping that.

Ed Miliband told David Cameron to sort it out yesterday – but failed to offer a solution.

Mr Miliband is vacuous, Tory supporters said, which is ironic given that Mr Cameron was devoid of policies until just before the general election, which he then failed to win outright.

Confidence is what countries, economies and banks need but with leaders such as the ones we have in charge across Europe right now I have come to this cheery conclusion: We’re doomed.

Sleep well.

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Call 01905 742248, e-mail dp@worcesternews.co.uk, or follow him on Twitter @DavidPaineWN