SIR - Your article concerning the theft of a milk float in Bath Road brought back memories of a hilarious incident that occurred way back in the good old days of policing.

My mate Jolly John' was sent by the station sergeant at the local nick to investigate a report of a vehicle theft in the centre of St John's.

He was met near the flats by a very irate milkman who blurted out that while he was delivering his bottles a guy had snaffled his electric cow.

He said: "If you belt up the Bromyard Road on your bike you'll catch him up - it will only do eight miles an hour flat out."

Off went John, pedalling like mad, but soon he was waved down by a lorry driver who shouted: "There's an idiot in a milk float going up there, he's hit my lorry, he was all over the road."

Soon, John caught up with our amateur Stirling Moss, sitting on the steps of the now battered and beaten milk float drinking a pint of milk.

Grabbing the guy, he took him to a nearby telephone box where he gave the station sergeant a bell to tell him that he had nabbed chummie.

"Give me his details," said the station sergeant, who could only type with one finger, "and I'll have the charge sheet ready."

"Sarg," said John, "I ain't pulling your leg, but his name is Ernie."

This Ernie was certainly the fastest milkman in the west.

JOE WALTER, St John's, Worcester